Drunken Laughs...With Santa

Humor at the holidays never gets old. Well, it does, but here are a few I hadn't heard, anyway...

• The wine that Santa most hates? "I don't like Brussels sprouts!"
• Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk stumble out of a bar together and notice a $100 bill on the ground. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.
• What is Santa Claus's favorite drink? Beer-d
• And the best for last... Santa was pissed off. It was Christmas Eve, and the reindeer had gotten into the eggnog, the elves were demanding more pay, and the FAA had grounded the sleigh since the light on Rudolph's nose had been gone out from a drunken brawl with the other reindeer. Santa yells: "I cannot believe it! I have millions of presents to deliver in a few hours, and the reindeer are drunk and the elves are on strike. I don't even have my own Christmas tree! I sent an angel out hours ago!" Just then, the angel returns with a tree under her arm, hiccuping from all the eggnog she's been sharing with the reindeer. "Where you want me to stick this?" And thus the tradition of angels atop the Christmas trees came to pass...