Drunken Laughs: A Guy Walks into a Bar...

• A rabbi, a priest, and a Baptist minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
• A panda walks into a bar and orders a drink and dinner. He eats, stands up, and suddenly shoots everyone in the bar but the bartender. He tosses a few bills on the bar and walks to the door. The bartender says, "Why?" The panda tosses a badly punctuated wildlife manual onto the bar and flips to a page before finally exiting. The bartender reads, "Panda: Large black and white animal native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
• A drunk guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
• Thomas Edison walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Here's your beer, just don't get any ideas"
• A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.
• A drunk walks into a bar and orders a beer or three or five. The bartender asks him to leave. The drunk staggers out the side door, and within minutes walks in the front door and tries to order another beer. The bartender tells him to leave. The drunk walks out the side door, and again reappears at the front door. The bartender tells him to leave. After another few rounds of this, the drunk staggers in the front door one more time, takes a look at the bartender, and yells, "Just how many bars do you work in?"