Drunken Laughs... For Republicans

[Editor's Note: This week, the Republican National Convention is being held in Tampa, Florida. So, for this week, the drinks and Drunk Talk will cater to our GOP friends.]

• A Republican walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he's being served, the guys asks the bartender, "Hey, wanna hear the latest Democrat joke?" The bartender says, "Well, before you tell it, I should warn you that I'm a Democrat. See those two guys at the end of the bar? They're Democrats. And see those guys over at that table? They're Democrats too. You sure you want to tell that joke?" The Republican replies, "Heck no! I don't want to have to explain it five times..."
• What is a Democrat's favorite drink? Perrier and water.
• A Republican is drinking at a bar, swapping jokes about Democrats with a buddy. A man sitting next to them gets redder and redder with each joke. He finally announces with a huff, "I think you should know, I'm a Democrat!" The Republican laughs and says, "Well, I'll tell the next one real slow." The Democrat storms out of the bar. Later, the two Republicans exit the bar, and the Democrat leaps at them from behind a bush, brandishing a razor. Luckily, it wasn't plugged in...